Let me say right off the bat that I am a male, I will never know what it feels like to be pregnant or give birth. I do have kids but it’s different, my body didn’t host another being so as I discuss this issue please take it with the necessary grain of salt.
We’ve heard the term “postpartum depression” and it’s been discussed, diagnosed and treated in many cases throughout the world. This is a phrase that has worked its way into the medical communities lexicon and it’s a good thing. We need healthy mothers, pre, during and post pregnancy. Healthy mothers are a huge factor in having healthy well rounded kids. This post isn’t about that though.
Not every women experiences depression around their pregnancy, so this is by no means a universal truth. What many don’t discuss is how for some, pregnancy can be isolating. In your social circle if you’re the only one who is pregnant you really have no one to relate to how you are feeling. I remember when my wife was pregnant with my son, she got in the car and I closed the door (yes I hold the door open for her). I got in and she as starting to cry and broke out in a full wail.
I didn’t move for a minute and then asked what was wrong “You closed the door really hard” was all she said. Of course I hadn’t, rather, I had closed it as I had every time before. I didn’t say anything I drove she calmed down, said she was sorry and was quite for the rest of the day. Looking back at it, clearly she was experiencing something unique to her, but moreover unique to her pregnancy. Was the door the trigger? The feeling of not being in control? Or the notion that crying at that moment would require some kind of explanation which she really couldn’t provide?
I still don’t know and don’t plan to ask. What we do know is pregnancy effects hormones and when hormones become imbalanced all sorts of shenanigans can occur. For many women they simply don’t have the words to explain it, it truly is a feeling and attempting to explain it may make them feel “Odd”. “You must think I am crazy” well no I think you are pregnant and you are having a moment. The issue becomes when those moments begin to stretch into longer and longer moments.
These can be isolating feelings I imagine and within the confusion I can understand why some women withdraw and internalize. This, in any circumstance can lead to anxiety and depression, but carrying a child too? I found a decent article online here that prompted me to write about this. As I said before I will never know what it is like to be pregnant but I have one really good tool in my tool box I use to alieve others when I think it’s appropriate and that is to smile.
Never underestimate the power of your smile, and never assume just because a woman is pregnant that its bliss, or that she is “glowing” just give a nice smile (don’t be creepy LOL) and remember we all have mom’s