How to be a better man – Relationships and a harsh reality

Another post in my better man series. These posts are meant to help heterosexual men of all ages and are not meant to offend to speak to other genders and sexual orientations. This is one older guy sharing his wisdom with men of a similar mind. I am not a MGTOW blog, I do not have a bias towards one group or another, I post what I know and what I have seen based on my experience.

Disclaimer out of the way, there are some harsh realities heterosexual men have to deal with. In the current social construct in the western world, we are near, if not at the bottom. Your place among the bottom varies depending on your racial composition but for the most part it seems society thinks the least of you, and expects the most from you. This wasn’t always the case mind you, go take a look at say 1950’s America you were the top of the food chain.

So with this comes certain realities and one thing stands out as having the potential to be catastrophic to your life and that is relationships. It’s not just romantic relationships with women, it’s ANY RELATIONSHIP. One word from anyone can result in horrible outcomes. From someone at work calling your toxic, a cousin saying your racist or a neighbor who doesn’t agree with how you raise a child. As a heterosexual male the outcomes usually lead to more negative results then other group.

Am I contagious?
The longer you deny social realities, the longer you will remain confused and isolated.

You’ve heard the saying before “you can’t trust anyone” well guess what? That’s never been more true than it is now. What’s harder to replace? A career you worked at for 10 years or a casual friend you joke around with once a week getting coffee in the café? One wrong comment to that person can result in careers being over. Think I am exaggerating? Google is your friend. That neighbor who waves every morning? Want to bet they have social media? (twitter, FB, Tick Tock). What if they say something about you letting your dog run lose? (even if you don’t).

The harsh reality is as a heterosexual man in 2022 every relationship you have has to be looked at critically. You’re an easy target, low hanging fruit. I will give you a personal example. My daughter has a large group of friends, we had a party a few months ago. Hamburgers, hot dogs all the normal “cook out” fare you would expect. One of her friends was unhappy with the protein we provided at the party. There were plenty of vegan and vegetarian dishes there but that wasn’t enough. To the point where this “friend” posted pics of this “disgusting American tradition” on her social media.

There was little to no impact to me or my family, this wasn’t a disaster. But it could have been. Now granted that had little to nothing to do with me being a white heterosexual male but the point is one small thing can lead to larger and larger outcomes. What if some nut on the internet saw this and decided to visit us to explain how horrible we were for cooking hamburgers at a cook out? Think that’s a stretch? It isn’t things like that happen often actually, its just different degrees. The point here is even your most harmless actions can be open season on you. Be very careful who is in your life, even on the periphery.

The more people in your life, the more exposure you have. I’m not saying shut down but just be more cautious. Relationships, even ones abstract through others in your life (your girlfriends, brother’s, wife as an example) can lead to issues. Really listen to people in your life, understand who they are as best you can and the minute something begins to go toxic, cut them out and move on. The risk is no longer worth the reward. Harsh? Yes, but if you aren’t looking out for your interests, who is?

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