How to be a better man – 5 things you can do NOW to improve

This post is part of my better man series. In this series I give advice to heterosexual men on how to improve. I am no self-help guru, this blog isn’t a mgtow/men’s issues blog. It’s one of the many subjects I write on. I am 52, have a family lived a lot so from time to time I impart my wisdom to likeminded people. The advice given is not intended to offend anyone, if you are offended you are choosing to be so.

So being a better man is subjective. Meaning, who is to say you aren’t a good man now? I’m sure you are but there are always ways to improve. The improvements below are small things you can do now that will give you quick boosts of confidence. They will help you get that psychological rush of positivity that will likely transfer over into other aspects of your life and hopeful produce positive results.

Discipline, hard work and consistency = being a better man.

Your mouth: Make your mouth a priority. Regular cleanings at the dentist, whitening, fixing dental issues. Beard trimmed and kept clean using beard oils and a brush. Your mouth is a gateway, meaning people hear what you say but they watch your mouth as you say it. Having a clean, white smile and fantastic breath leads to extraordinary outcomes. You are more approachable, you are more appealing, people want to hear what you have to say when you mouth is spectacular.

Less clothes, better quality: Having a huge wardrobe is fine if you have the resources go for it. However higher quality items are always the way to go. As an example a high quality belt should last you years. Boots, dress shoes, sneakers you don’t need multiple pairs of these, you need good quality that are universal matches to the clothes you have. How old are some of your T shirts? It’s time to upgrade, spend a little more get something that fits better. 3 really high quality polo shirts are a great addition for summer wear. This doesn’t mean you trash the clothes you have, but the sweats and T’s you are lounging around the house in shouldn’t be your back up wardrobe for drinks this Saturday night.

Go to bed 1 hour earlier: More sleep is going to improve so many aspects of your life it’s hard to put them all down here in one paragraph. Sleep is the secret weapon of good health. The more sleep you can get the better outcomes you are going to have in all aspects of your life. You are going to have to trust me on this one, try it.

Less Masturbation: Here we go, finally something spicy. Nearly everyone does it, so get over it. Masturbate less, it’s going to change your attitude a lot. Can you go a whole month? Sex is different, I’m talking about those personal alone moments where you delve deep into the recesses of your imagination and come up with some fantasy to get off. It’s a fantasy, the less time you spend creating one in your head, the more time you have to devote to actually creating one IRL.

Special day notifications: You have a phone that has a calendar or notification feature you need to use it. Set up notifications for special days, your significant others birthday, anniversaries, Ex’s kids soccer game. Special days are unique to you obviously but you want to be prepared and aware one is on the horizon. The chance of you having a successful outcome is much higher if you use these notifications. Believe me you nail a special day for someone and they appreciate it. You screw it up and half ass it because you remembered the night before you might get by with it but you stagnate that way, you don’t improve.

Try some of these out and let me know how you do. Being a better man takes work, it’s a lifelong task. Remember working on yourself benefits everyone in your life. You aren’t selfish, you aren’t a bad guy you are just trying to do better and that starts with self-improvement.

Thanks for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Want to see another post like this one? Click here.

How to be a better man: They know, do you know they know?

So this is a cryptic blog title, but it’s important. Before we get going too far a quick reminder. My “How to be a better man series” is written for and by a heterosexual man. I can’t write for other sexualities as I don’t have those experiences myself, my opinion on those would be abstract. So that out of the way, Women know. They know what you want, generally, although this does evolve over time (what you want, and their ability to know it) but the initial phase of any heterosexual relationship (think the first 6 months) they know.

The question posed in the title is do you know they know? There really isn’t a mystery here, it’s been the driver of male pursuit of females for centuries. Men want sex. Again we are talking about heterosexual men. I am assuming other sexual proclivities want this as well but I am an expert on myself and I am a heterosexual male. Women know what you want. This is the dance. Now this dance has changed over time.

Its factual to say that it is easier now for men to get sex than ever before. We have the internet which has opened up many new avenues to obtain sexual gratification. It’s also factual to say that women are far more liberated sexually than ever before. The likelihood they that want to have sex is also higher. So this notion of they know, do you know they know might not be as potent in application as it was 50 years.

Talking about sex and attraction these days is like going out on a limb

It’s still very important. Females realize, and in many cultures are trained to understand that a man’s desire can be used to cultivate the type of relationship they want. Let me be clear here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. You use what you have to obtain what you want. I have no problem with females using their attraction to garner a relationship they desire, they should do that. Men need to be very clear here, regardless of how liberated society is this underlying dynamic between men and women still exists.

Let’s also be clear on something. For all my male readers, it’s okay to pursue and “court” females. When they make it clear to you they are uninterested you must stop. The days of yore where you could be zealous and really over pursue females (which in modern day IS harassment) is over. IF a woman is not interested in you, leave her alone. Again it’s okay to ask, but you HAVE to take no for an answer.

If, however you are in a relationship, regardless of the scope of the relationship remember they know. They know you want sex, and intelligent women use this knowledge to steer things the way they want it to go. Its manipulative yes but not all manipulation is bad, meaning if you have a good woman who has healthy intentions it’s safe to allow this to occur. Not all actions by females whom try and derive a benefit from their availability for sex is sinister. That said, you as the man have to be very clear on your sexual expectations. If they are reasonable they should be accommodated.

Your needs are not secondary; the difference here is most women know what your primary need is. You have to go in knowing they know, and now you do. Good luck.

Thank you for coming by and supporting my blog. Want to see another post like this one? Click here.

How to be a better man: If you entertain clowns, you join the circus

One of the key aspects of being a better man is really being honest about who you invest your time into in your life. Let’s be blunt here we all have toxic people in our lives, it’s really a matter of degree’s. When you entertain/invest time into them you become part of their circus act. This isn’t gender specific either. I’m not talking exclusively about your buddy from high school who still pounds a 6 pack before going out on Friday night.

I’m also talking about GF’s who are drama queens, exes who float in and out of your life to keep you on the line. Crazy uncles who always seem to need help with something, or siblings/parents who constantly fight and or cause issues. I’m not saying you have to cut people like this out of your life completely but you have to be honest about who these people are. If you are at family functions and Uncle Ted continues to bring up the incident at thanksgiving from 2001 it’s because he has either not gotten over it, or he wants to create drama for the people associated because he thinks THEY aren’t over it.

This is an example of how a clown works. They fixate on something that was painful, embarrassing or a highly emotional episode of the past and just keep hammering on it. Sometimes years later. Now there are degrees of this of course. If your current partner is reminding you of something you said 2 years ago you have to think about that and the current context. If you are hearing about this event regularly it means they aren’t over it and or are not happy about how you handled it.

Unclutter your life

People like this can sap your emotional energy. The circus ensues when you engage in this banter and it is used to bludgeon you over and over. The same theory applies to people in your life who have episode behavior. As an example, you go out for drinks, there is a designated driver or uber. There is always one person who says they can drive (when you know they can’t) even WHEN you have done the right thing and set up an alternative means of getting home they continue on. Another example, you are out to eat with your partner and no matter where you go, no matter what you order there is a problem.

If you continue to indulge these behaviors you are sending a signal that it is acceptable, ergo you are accepting a role in the circus. Maybe the example is mild and you are okay with it/tolerate it. Fine but what you normally find is the circus grows over time and more and more “situations” occur in new settings. You have to identify who these people are in your life and really think about your time investment into them.

It’s okay to have a circus once in a while, life should be spicy. That said, to be a better man you have to have balance and be very careful how much the circus consumes your time.

Thank you for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Want to see another post like this one? Click here.

Leif Erikson

How to be a better man – Learn a trade

This is a quick post today. Not because the wisdom is lesser but the information is fairly straight forward. For the last 50 years’ western society has created a narrative that to be successful professionally you must engage in the most expensive route to get there. That means college, and for millions that means student loan debt. A space once dominated by men, now more women are in college than ever before, and racking up massive debt as a result.

We now have more female doctors, pilots, engineers on and on and that’s great. For men? Trades are still wide open. Less and less people go into trades now than in the past. Females? Even less they have been marketed for the need for education for their success. Of course a woman can put an addition on a house just as well as a man can with equal training and experience but you don’t see high school guidance counselors telling them that do you?

As a man, learn a trade. Sure a lot of it is blue collar work but all these in debt college educated professionals are going to be busy working 60 hours a week to pay back their 100K of student loans. They don’t have time to rake the leaves, repair a deck, install cabinets. You’ll make a boat load of cash, have minimal expense to enter the profession and should you desire in the future you can go to college then, and pay cash for it.

Being a better man means looking at life in the short, mid and long term. College is a great option and I would never tell anyone not to go. I went and have made a great living as a result but there are other paths out there. Always gather as much info as you can, never rely on one source of info for your decision making. Last, but not least…. Look around, who is in demand? Plumbers or Doctors? Lots of doctors out there, have you ever met or seen a plumber?

Thank you for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Want to see more posts like this one? Click here.