How to be a great dad: How to ensure your daughter has good relationships with men.

This is another post in my series of how to be a good guy/better man. I see all over the web about MGTOW and men checking out and to be blunt I completely understand why. We aren’t going to get into that in this post but I want to make sure I am clear here, traditional gender roles, traditional relationships and traditional marriage might not be for you regardless of gender. I happen to be in one, by choice many years ago and that is the context of this advice.

Children watch adults and mirror behaviors. I don’t think that is going too far out on a limb, it’s how we all learn by exposure to situations, observation and modeling successful outcomes. That out of the way let me state for the record I am no expert in women romantically, I mean I have had a decent amount of romantic relationships in my time but I am years removed from that.

I am however experienced and nuanced in female relationships. I spent a lot of time with my Grandmother and mother, I have sisters, I have a wife, I have a daughter. IMHO I have observed the women in my life conduct themselves in just about every normal situation you can think of. Again this isn’t a post that is pertaining to sex but rather real life (power goes off, flat tires, sick spouses, politics, work issues). So while I am not going to proclaim I am an authority I do have a broad scope of experience.

OMG is this guy going to get to the point….

How do you ensure your daughter has a good relationship with men as a dad? Conduct yourself toward the women in your life the way you would want a man to conduct himself with your daughter. Your daughter is watching you and how you treat women and it’s the most likely influence for her to base her future relationships with men. Treating women with respect, and conversely expecting women to treat you with respect is paramount. Respect leads to trust, trust leads to several positive outcomes in personal relationships.

If you are an angry aggressive man, chances are your daughter ends up with one. Are you a pushover, and are miserable at work and your spouse doesn’t treat you well? That’s likely to be what your daughter does as well. The point here is pretty simple, your daughter is looking to you for more than just the normal emotional support you give children but what she should be looking for in a man in the future, if she in fact wants one.

It’s not just how you behave in the home or with family that is crucial it’s how you expect others to treat you as well. Stand up for yourself, be compassionate but confident. Be understanding but firm. Work on yourself as best you can, work on improvements where you deem it needed and remember she is watching you.

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This article bothered me

I found this article to be disturbing. The summary of the article is essentially a kid got in a fight at school and the cops were called and a 7 year old was put in handcuffs. Now a little deeper dive this kid is African American. I’m not going to profess to understand racism from a minorities point of view, I’m white, but I can relate to the father being pissed off that his 7 year old son was put in hand cuffs for a fight at school.

I’m not advocating violence or “boys will be boys” but kids fight, both genders and we are at the point now where 7 year olds have cops called on them and put in handcuffs for fighting in school? I got into fights when I was a kid, the teacher called my parents and I got disciplined at home (not every time I concede).

Not only that but when the father gets to the school Police are waiting for him and won’t let him enter and get to his son. I am completely amazed at this and the fact he is a black man makes it worse. I don’t subscribe to the notion that there is rampant racism out there, but only a fool would deny it exists. This example seem way beyond the pale to me, I mean any dad regardless of race would likely react the same way. So when this guy makes the statement “My son is 7 years old,” he says in the video. “Young black male … already has experience being put in handcuffs.”

Ya man that’s bad you have my empathy. The school district of course is trying to walk the fine line:

Ana Alejo, chief communications officer for Denver Public Schools, told 9News in a statement that handcuffs can be used “only as a last resort” and if there is “imminent danger.”


Fine, maybe the cops were overzealous here and the school district really didn’t push it this far but at what point does this absurdity get checked? A simple solution to bullying in schools has always been start charging school superintendents. Trust me, you target the top and they will quickly change the culture and problem kids will get the help they need fast or be expelled.

In this case though I feel for this dad and wish the best for the kid. I would be livid, my kids are all much older now but I’ve had a couple of calls from the school in my time. I can’t imagine ever getting a call from the school telling me my 7 year old was in hand cuff and the cops were on scene. I would be scared beyond belief and to find out it wasn’t a serious threat? I would sue them for as much as I possibly could. Not for the money but to punish them for such a ridiculous outcome to a situation that should have never escalated to that point.