Yes I recently had a birthday, a big one 50. So for all my
Gen X friends out there welcome to the silver years I guess, LOL. The event in
of itself was good, my immediate family and in laws kept it low key which is
what I wanted. Still that day I began to feel very anxious. The number doesn’t really
throw me, 50 is a number. Some days I feel it, some days I feel older honestly.
The worst part for me was I didn’t hear from anyone from my side of the family.
Upon reflection that was the source of my anxiety, I was
anticipating a call or something which normally evolves into some rehash of a
past event that I have no desire revisiting. We all realize that 1995 is was 25
years ago? MOVE ON. But I digress…
I won’t illuminate everything about my family, let’s just
say that my childhood was less than stellar. It was a melding of so many
factors that its hard to pin point one singular event or individual that
contributed to the negative impact it had on me and many others. My siblings
move out when each one turned 18 to escape, I was the youngest I was 8 years
behind my sister so when I was 10, I was essentially alone in this abyss.
I survived, I got over it but there were a lot of things
that happened along the way as I became an adult that made things, at various
points go extremely sour. Silence, physical altercations, cops. Ya you name it
we had it. I look back now and I realize that most of this was from an event
that happened before I was born. I have a half-sister, who was given up by my
mother at the behest of my father. Now this sounds complicated and it is, but
the short story is she got pregnant right before they got married.
The family story is booze was involved, a mistake was made
etc. Now what that did was, it created a foundation of mistrust and resent that
over decades manifested itself in to all sorts of bullshit. My siblings and I
were participants and outlets for this constant struggle between my parents.
Honestly my brother got it the worst, the 70’s were not good for him I was too
little to know what was going on.
Oh, right so my 50th birthday… What does all this
have to do with it? I didn’t receive a card, a call, not even a text from
anyone on my side of my family. I didn’t expect much, but a call would have
been nice. I would have liked to hear from them, but it wasn’t to be. I was
upset about it but got through the event. Now that I am a few days removed I
can reflect back on it and it makes me a little sad.
Please folks, if you have issues with your family don’t let
it fester. Before you know it, you’ll be 50 and your time is getting shorter
and shorter. You can’t make up for lost time, be the bigger person and reach
out. I wish I had, and I didn’t and that makes me a blatant hypocrite for
giving this advice I realize that. It just sucks, and the longer it goes on the
harder it is to fix.