Tag: Men's Issues

Over 50 fitness: Can you build muscle mass in your 50’s?

Posted on by Karac Avalron

The answer is yes you can, but with caveats. As men age the master hormone Testosterone decreases. Now the caveat here is your starting point. Its universally accepted that testosterone drops as you age but there is no universally accepted starting point there is a range. So if you start at the lower range through your adult life it’s going to be that much harder when you hit your 50’s.

Disclaimer: Make sure you work closely with your health care provider and be tested regularly to ensure you make the best choices for your particular situation. The opinions expressed in this blog worked for me, they may not work for you.

The bottom line is, as a man you need testosterone to build muscle mass. The older you get the less you produce naturally so you will need to supplement to obtain similar results to when you were younger. The problem here is increased testosterone levels the older you get increases your risk of heart disease. So the next caveat, you can gain muscle mass in your 50’s but not at the same rate you did in earlier periods of your life.

While there isn’t much science on sustaining high level of testosterone for decades, we know that younger individuals have better health outcomes as their bodies haven’t been subjected to poor dietary choices for as long. That’s a logical conclusion, again there aren’t a lot of studies here supporting this but if your testosterone level was 850 at 21, its harder and riskier for you to maintain that 850 testosterones at 31,41,51,61.

Hormone Replacement Therapy might be an option.

What you should be doing is having a blood work up on your endocrine system once you hit 40 years old. They should be testing for a lot of things, (thyroid, adrenal, vitamin D) and your testosterone levels. When you get the test results you should be comparing your number to averages for people in your age group. There are numerous sources online that will give you a range, generally men from 19-49 have a range of 249-836, over 50 193-749.

We have to be careful here because there are people OVER the high end of the range. There are always outliers and the younger you are the more likely you could be over and sustain it, but as you age, if you remain in that higher range your risk of heart disease magnifies. So where we want to be is 85% of the high end range over 50, at or around 650. At that % (this can fluxuate) you should be able to gain muscle mass in your 50’s.

You aren’t going to pack on 20 pounds of muscle in 6 months, but 5 or more in a year? Yes, its possible. Now this is based on my experience and having talked to my doctor and having blood work done regularly. None of this should be taken lightly and you should be working with your doctor regularly (every 3-6 months) to determine if you are healthy and if you need to adjust your testosterone levels.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to work with your doctor on your specific needs as you age. You should be increasing your interactions with your doctor’s office and specifically your blood work even if it means you have to pay out of pocket. This isn’t something you can just figure out on your own. Work with a medical professional, heed their advice but keep close tabs on your testosterone levels.

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How to be a better man – Pornography & Masturbation

Posted on by Karac Avalron

Did the title get you? It’s not click bait I will be very clear about the subject. A disclaimer first, my be a better man series is target toward heterosexual men. That’s what I am, and that is what I know. This advice isn’t meant to offend other sexualities, if you are offended that’s your choice. It may or may not be helpful to you regardless of your sexual identity.

So that out of the way let’s get to the heart of the issue right away: Watching pornography creates an unrealistic perception of females. Masturbating to pornography and inducing ejaculation gives you a dopamine release which floods the limbic system of the brain (our reward/feel good system). This is why it is so dangerous because one enhances the other and creates an extremely problematic outcome, unrealistic expectations.

You see the truth is fella’s, most women cannot compete with a porn star whose profession is to be highly sexual to please men. Now let me be crystal clear here, most women can compete on this level from time to time but daily on command? NOPE. Lingerie, toys, language, submission women can fill this want of yours but if you are watching porn and masturbating to it, you’re going to want this outcome regularly and no woman that I have met is up for that 24/7.

So now we have this reality that presents females with a really hard choice. Be themselves and have their male partners not fulfilled, or become something they aren’t and please their men? Both end in resentment, which is the silent killer of relationships. Look this isn’t an anti-male post here, women have plenty of their own issues they project on to us but I can’t control that. As a man though I can control my issues and work on my personal self-improvement.

The way to a mans heart is through his stomach, the way to a mans brain is through his penis.

So what is the answer? Here is what I did. First, I am married with 2 adult children, I am 52. In my 20’s I dated a lot had some some fun (and some heartbreak) and after marriage in my late 30’s early 40’s I started masturbating and watching porn regularly. 4 to 5 times a week actually and it had negative consequences for myself and my wife. So how did I fix this? I took the steps below.

  1. I wrote out in a journal for 90 days how often I watched porn and how often I masturbated.
  2. I wrote out what kind of porn I was watching. I was specific, as an example: Lingerie styles, hair color, positions, locations, ambience.
  3. I then cut the days in half and monitored.
  4. From there (where I am now) I made another cut. I only watch porn once a month, the first Sunday of every month and if I miss it, I don’t get a “make up session” I wait until the next month.
  5. I reduced how often I masturbate even if I don’t have intercourse with my wife. Honestly this is the hardest part. I either have to have intercourse or masturbate at least once a week if not more. Now it’s once a week or intercourse.

Now clarity on the items on the list, first #5. This changes with age, I’m 52 the engine still runs fine but has miles on it, lol you get the point. Items #1-2 this is where you have to be very honest with yourself. If you are watching a lot of porn you might be addicted. Additionally, the kind of porn you are watching is telling. Be very honest here and if you suspect you have an issue talk to a professional. Porn addiction is real and can lead to all sorts of negative outcomes.

The hoped for outcome here is you masturbate and watch porn less = better relationships with the women in your life. Removing this burden from her to “perform” based on your fantasies relieves a great amount of sexual tension. Additionally, it gives her the opportunity to give you the “gift” of a performance sometime in the future which you will thoroughly enjoy and empowers her sexually.

A healthy sexual relationship requires clear communication of expectations, wants, and desires. It’s okay to want your female sexual partners to “perform” for you, I mean why lie about it if that’s what you want? The issue becomes EXPECTING them to do so. Look at it this way, it’s a gift to be given by a woman, not a service to be provided to maintain you as a mate. Spend the time, make the effort and get a good understanding of your porn and masturbation habits. We want positive outcomes for ourselves and our partners so you work on what you can control, and this one is important.

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Dressing to feel good !

3 ways to improve as a man

Posted on by Karac Avalron

It’s time to circle back to this subject again. From time to time on this blog I give advice for men. At 51 I’ve lived a little and seen a lot. I am no expert, just because I think something is a good idea doesn’t mean it is, lol. You should always be careful on whom you take advice from. There are experts in everything all over the place, if you have read this blog before you know what to expect. There are many ways you can improve as a man, often these pieces of advice are written by females.

You see it all over the web, female bloggers, influencers, you tubers telling you, as a man how to improve. This isn’t a MGTOW post or an anti-female post but let’s be real here, if you are a young man you want someone who’s lived a similar life to give you advice. Here we go.

Time for a hair cut captain caveman…
  1. Work harder when you are younger: Men peak in their 30’s to 40’s, you have your education complete you have a career path, you have an economic plan for yourself. If you aren’t in this space by 33 you have an issue. Through your 20’s you can party if you want but hard work during this decade (20’s) means financial prosperity in your 30’s-40’s. Get your education squared away (degree’s, certifications) have an emergency fund, have some retirement savings with a plan to increase it in the future.
  2. Always be clear with your lovers: I don’t care what your sexuality is, this advice works all ways but is phrased for a heterosexual because that is what I relate to. It’s okay to be a player but expect to be played. I’m not going to sit here and tell you “do X, and you will get Y” when it comes to women. There is no magic formula that works with all females. One absolute though is being clear about your intentions. Hooking up is fine as long as its consensual. It’s not cool if you’re hooking up knowing that she wants more and you don’t. Sure it will be fun for a while, until someone does it to you. Be clear, be respectful, be confident. Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you should be doing “you know people who have dated as long as we have normally get engaged”. If you aren’t ready for engagement or don’t want it, you need to tell her.
  3. Hygiene for life: Personal hygiene is something everyone knows about but at different stages we can have gaps. In your 20’s you probably aren’t doing a lot for your face, your 40-50-year-old self is going to be pissed but at 22 you probably don’t care. Clean and groomed facial and pubic hair (yes clean It up). Exfoliate your face and use a moisturizer. Good teeth routine, at least twice a day brush, floss, mouth wash. Twice a year you go to the dentist. Clean your ass crack, clean your belly button, wash between your toes, clip your nails. I know all this stuff sounds like your “dad” is talking to you. Hygiene is a secret weapon of attraction; women love cleanliness don’t dip on any of it.

Some of these are common sense, but the key here is you have to start as young as possible to develop these habits. “a better man” doesn’t mean you are going to be a star but it does mean people will take you more seriously. Job interviewers, people who work retail, romantic prospects, elderly, on and on and on. Keep working on improving, keep trying to ace the little things. “I don’t want to clip my nails though, that seems stupid” fine go get a pedicure then.

The point here is details, details, details gentlemen. As an older guy I have been paying attention to them for years now and it pays off. 30 years from now when you’re the 50-year-old (or sooner) you’ll be thought of more highly; dare I say admired? A man who starts young and improves himself, treats others with the gift of honesty, and has great hygiene habits is someone others want to be around, that should be you.

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