“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” ― Robin S. Sharma
Robin Sharma is an author who deals primarily in business leadership. His resume of companies he has worked with is not only notable but extensive. He is not a main stream name, many people have no idea who he is and honestly would never need to read his material. Like all good authors he, from time to time gives us a pearl of a quote. Let’s discuss it a little bit.
The quote itself is pretty obvious, how do we parlay this wisdom into the present? We are coming off lockdowns and travel restrictions and the narrative is “let’s get back to normal”. Do you want to go back to the routines you maintained prior to covid? Do you want to live the same year again?
Perhaps for you this is the time to continue the disruption of covid in a positive way. Perhaps changing your “normal” is a good thing. I’ve lived the same year multiple times, it’s easy because routine breeds comfort and comfort swallows time. Think of ways you can change your old normal. Travel more? Get a pet? Volunteer? ?
It’s a great time to change your personal narrative and not fall back into the old normal you used to partake in. Before you know it you will be 75, take me for example… I am closer to 75 now than I am 25. Don’t live the same year over again. Try something new, force yourself, who knows it might be the thing that at 75 you look back on and smile.
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Normally on Wednesdays, I do an anxiety piece but today I am going to give you some wisdom and a short story to back it up. The wisdom? You’re Co-Workers are not your friends. Now you probably knew that but it’s a broad statement that encompasses everything. You see any piece of information you give to a coworker can be told to someone else and potentially used against you.
Now maybe you know the people you work with well, maybe you are friends. What about the people they have on the periphery of their lives? So here is the story, I will try to keep it brief. I worked with a woman who was about my age at the time (early 40’s), I will call her Kathy. Kathy is a normal woman, of note here Kathy was Hispanic (2nd generation Mexican immigrant) now that is an important factor later on.
So we were in a common break room. People came in and out of there all the time to heat up lunch, get a coffee, kill 10 min…. you know the deal. So Kathy is explain to me and another coworker and issue she was having with her youngest son whom we will call Tommy. Tommy got in to trouble at school and according to Kathy when her husband got home he “got his belt and wiped his ass” (literally her words). I did not say much, my old man did that to me once or twice. I had earned it and he was old school, but I do not recall enjoying it.
Someone in the break room over heard the conversation and said “your husband actually whipped your child?” To which Kathy replied “Yes, but it is part of our culture we are Mexican and that is how the men discipline the boys”. Now I am listening to this and to be blunt not taking it very seriously. I honestly didn’t care, I do not inject myself into other people’s lives. Still Kathy was telling us a PERSONAL situation; we were coworkers, not her friend. The other person I was with didn’t say much they were just kind of there.
I just wanted a cup of coffee
The person who butted into the conversation? She worked in HR and her reply was “Well this isn’t Mexico, this is the United States and I am obligated to tell Child Services that I am aware of a child being abused”. I perked up quickly, so did the other silent participant in this now escalating tale of woe. So Kathy’s face turned to anger very quickly and she said “what happens in my home is none of your business.” Which I agree with, but the response from the person butting in, HR woman is what stuck with me and hence the premise of this blog post.
“What happens in your home is your business, until you decide to bring it into the work place and share it with your coworkers”
HR woman looks at me and the other silent participant and my heart sank because I knew I was now going to be inserted into this drama. It had it all, females who disagree, ethnicity references, child abuse allegations, and HR. I think I aged 5 years on the spot. So we disperse, HR woman storms off and Kathy calls her a bitch, to us, not to her and we go back to work. 3 hours later, I am called into HR. They ask me point blank did Kathy say her husband beat their child. I replied factually that no, Kathy said he “whipped his ass” and I provided the context that I assumed she meant he spanked the kid.
I couldn’t lie, I mean I could have but the HR lady knew I heard it, the other silent observer heard it and I didn’t know what he was going to say and I have a policy of not lying unless it’s absolutely necessary. That is all they wanted from me, I saw the silent observer the next morning and he confirmed they talked to him as well. Kathy wasn’t in that day, she was on a “leave of absence” which turned into a termination.
Now what I heard through the grapevine was HR in fact called child services and Kathy and family got a visit. It was determined there was no abuse etc. but Kathy exploded. She threatened lawsuits, called the owner called people every name in the book. She emailed myself and silent observer multiple times asking what we said, it was dramatic but short. I never found out the end of the story, but Kathy was let go. I assume she found another job and her life went on. The HR woman, I believe is still at that company, actually running the dept now.
So the point of all this is, even casual friendly conversations with coworkers are minefields. You can’t trust anyone at work. Do not share your personal details with people at work, and this is especially true now with social media. Someone can take what you say literally and it can get messy very quickly.
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If you have anxiety, depending on the day everything can slip. A bad day can set you back a week, a bad week a month and so on. Everyone has different triggers and this post isn’t meant to shame anyone. What it is intended to do is to give you 4 things you should be doing every day, even in the throes of a serious bout of anxiety. These are not fixes, but what they do is they create consistent actions and routines that will allow you to anchor yourself on the days (weeks or months) where you have crippling anxiety. Every other day these will be natural events, the list is not complicated or exhausted but they are MUST DO’S
The Mouth Routine: No this is not perverted… Twice a day, when you wake, and before you have to sleep you should be cleaning your mouth. The health benefits are for another post but how it makes you FEEL is what is important here. A clean fresh mouth is well, refreshing. What should you do for a “Mouth Routine?”
Brush
Floss
Mouthwash
Tongue comb or rake – You can brush your tongue as well, trust me on this one.
Vitamin D: I take a lot of Vitamin D. I’ve read a lot online about the importance of this vitamin and this post is not intended to be a science piece I did a post here many moons ago click it for an elaboration. If you are uncomfortable with Vitamin D fine, take a multivitamin. This should be done at the same time every day. I take mine at noon.
Consistent Sleep schedule: This is easier than it looks. I am not saying you have to sleep for 8 hours, I know most people can’t, particularly with anxiety. What I am saying, and you should be doing is going to bed and rising the same time every day. Sleep is how your body repairs. It’s critical for all aspects of your health and you need to create a consistent schedule for it. Mine?
Weekdays – Sunday thru Thursday: I am in bed screens off by 10:30PM. Even if I cannot fall asleep, I lay there. I get up between 4:30AM and 7:00AM depending on what days I go to the gym.
Weekends – Friday thru Saturday: I am in bed screens off by 1AM. I get up between 7AM and 9AM. I game, watch movies/shows used to go out will again after covid. Friday night and Saturday night I stay up but rarely past 1, and often in bed by midnight.
Human Contact: You need to talk to someone, touch someone, and have human contact (non sexually is the context here, but sex is fine but another post all together). Anxiety can be isolating and even if it is just some emails or a text you have to talk to someone every day. This may sound silly, but believe it or not there are many of us who can go weeks and not talk to anyone at all. You need human interaction, you need to “feel” and “sense” other people.
Ugh, Lists
Every day do these things. Do not wait, don’t make excuses start working on them. These will help you and give you confidence and self-worth. Anxiety can be crippling, isolating, desperate. Fight back with simple tools. Even if you only do one of the items above it will have a dramatic impact on you for the positive.
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Many of us have heard of Confucius, we know that he was a Chinese philosopher who through his years of writing, observation and work in government created a philosophy of personal morality. This isn’t a political piece or a religious piece. As individuals with anxiety we can use wisdom of the past to help us in the present.
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” —Confucius
How many times have we been faced with an issue that looks like a mountain? We get overwhelmed and we fall into the pit of woe that is anxiety and mental health issues. Is one little saying going to help us? Maybe a little, maybe not at all.
When you have Anxiety, Mountains appear often.
That said at the end of the day events happen to us, mountains appear. We have to deal with them. The beauty of this wisdom is it illustrates literally and figuratively how to deal with a problem that becomes a mountain.
You have to start, and you work the problem one small step (stone) at a time. Look we all have obstacles that pop up in our lives and some of them are extreme. You can move that mountain, be calm, and be methodical… Take one step at a time, one stone at a time and in no time the mountain will be moved and you will be right back on your chosen path.
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Money can generate immense amounts of anxiety. We all depend
on money to live. Food, shelter, electricity nothing is free. All of us, by
whatever means generate income. Income is the basis by which you can obtain
items you need to live and the luxuries that improve your quality of life. If
you are like me, you are affected by moderate amounts of anxiety. You are
functioning, likely have a full-time job and thus have to deal with all the
regular poop that comes with life.
If you live in the states or in any other western culture,
there is a large emphasis placed on retirement and saving. Putting your money
in a bank account and collecting interest is no longer enough as bank interest
is extremely low. If you are at a point in your life where you have enough
income to invest, for whatever reason, it can be overwhelming and daunting.
Here are 5 easy tips that will help you.
Have the
money automatically drawn from your pay or your bank account: This
eliminates the stress of you must transfer it yourself. Many employer plans
will do this for you, and in many cases, it will be pre-tax money, lowering
your tax burden.
Determine
what the money is for: Is this for income generation? Is this for
retirement? For a new car? Decide what this money is going to be used for
BEFORE you start investing.
Where to
invest, Large Cap Growth funds: I know your eyes are glazing over… These
types of funds are normally comprised of strong companies that generate revenue
and are considered very well capitalized. Companies like Apple, Boeing,
Microsoft. These companies aren’t going to fold up over night if there are bumps
in the economy.
Time:
Most investment vehicles have a return average over time. You can get this
measure over 5years, 10 years etc. Look at mutual funds that have a 10-20-year
track record. What was their rate of return? A 20-year avg return is a great measure
because it accounts for ups and downs in the market.
Trust
yourself: There is no “trick” to investing. Consistent investment over
years generates good returns. Don’t look for short cuts, you will regret it.
Money can equal stress, but it doesn’t have to. Remember the
story of the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race. If you stick
with a long-term consistent plan you will be a successful investor. Once every 3-6
months check your investments make sure they make sense. If you have an
employer with a retirement plan, sit down with HR and ask your questions. This
will help with your anxiety, and that’s their job.
Remember you have anxiety, this won’t be simple, you will worry, you will react, you will make mistakes. However, you can do this, and someday with a lot of persistence and patience you will have accumulated a nice chunk of change!
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Nearly everyone who is reading this has either heard of or has studied Winston Churchill. To say he was (or Is) one of the most famous statesmen of the “World War” period wouldn’t be a stretch. He was in the middle of the most perilous time in modern history. The World Wars were the most devastating events in human history, oh and wedged in between those was this other event called the “great depression”. Needless to say if you lived through that period of world history you are probably wiser than most of us.
Churchill didn’t suffer fools, he did though accept the fact that even people he disagreed with had the right to be disagreeable. He valued free speech and basked in the fight and nuances of debate and semantics. The wisdom?
“Some peoples Idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, it’s an outrage.”
Boy is that true in 2021 isn’t it? Been on twitter lately? LOL. The point here is, most people that are telling you what they think often aren’t interested in hearing what you think if it’s not agreeing with their point of view. We are now to the point of intolerance where people are canceled for having “wrong think” or “wrong speak” and inconveniently we don’t have Trump around anymore to blame for it.
No its now (and always was) emboldened people who believe what they think is right and will go to extremes to make sure there is no dissent. Churchill faced this as well in his time, they were called Nazi’s and they burned books (think they would have liked Dr Zeus?) and committed horrific crimes.
Be wary of people who want to silence others, who deem something distasteful and are willing to remove access without consent. These are very dangerous people, in essence they want to control what you see, what you hear, and what you think. They are everywhere and, as Churchill warns, if you disagree it’s an outrage. Except now, the outrage has blossomed into something far more sinister.
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In my ongoing journey through anxiety I have come across
many different things. One of those things are jokes. Now these are meant to be
funny, if you have anxiety, my hope is you see these and smile. If it upsets
you that was not my intent, I think if we can laugh at ourselves a little bit,
things become a touch easier.
Here are 5 jokes/quips I have found in my travels that made
me lol a little bit
I have generalized anxiety disorder, but it sucks because it affects me specifically.
What exactly is a serious mental illness? As opposed to those what? Carefree, happy go lucky ones?
I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.
I know some of these are really stupid but I still LOL. Maybe this is a sign I’m in a better place with my anxiety. I don’t know, I hope from time to time in your journey with anxiety you can laugh about it. It’s not a joke, but we do what we can to get through the day. Sometimes a stupid joke can carry the day !
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It’s crucial to recognize that what works for someone else’s anxiety may not work for yours. I have been producing anxiety blog posts here for years now and I can attest to the fact that everyone has unique triggers and a unique situation. The purpose of today’s post is to give some general advice on things you can do right now to help with anxiety. Generally, these should work for everyone.
Keep a journal of your moods so you can recognize patterns. You can also write about your thoughts to figure out what’s really bothering you. I do this, I suffer from invasive thoughts. There are days when I am back in 1987 and reliving horrible things I may have said or done.
Exercise three to five times a week for 30 minutes to help relieve your anxiety. This is just overall good for you, the buildup of positive outcomes from consistent exercise is unbelievable.
Avoid drinking too much caffeine such as soft drinks or coffee, which is known to exacerbate anxiety. I drink coffee everyday so this is hypocritical to a degree. I’ve cut down, and so should you.
Limit alcohol, which can increase anxiety and panic attacks.Booze can really affect you emotionally and chemically. Go ahead and have a cocktail from time to time but getting loaded regularly is a really bad sign.
Count to 10 slowly. Repeat and count to 20 if necessary. Slow controlled breathing can be an instant anxiety reliever, try it.
Honorable mention here is sleep. Your body heals itself when it is at rest and that includes your mental and spiritual self as well. These are basic advices I understand. Sometimes it’s important to get back to basics and refresh on those before we get into the more complex issues of medications, therapy, family.
Even if one of them work for you then it’s a resounding success. One day at a time, you are doing awesome!
Thank you so much for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Want to see another post like this one? Click here.
It’s crucial to recognize that what works for someone else’s anxiety may not work for yours. I have been producing anxiety blog posts here for years now and I can attest to the fact that everyone has unique triggers and a unique situation. The purpose of today’s post is to give some general advice on things you can do right now to help with anxiety. Generally, these should work for everyone.
Keep a journal of your moods so you can recognize patterns. You can also write about your thoughts to figure out what’s really bothering you. I do this, I suffer from invasive thoughts. There are days when I am back in 1987 and reliving horrible things I may have said or done.
Exercise three to five times a week for 30 minutes to help relieve your anxiety. This is just overall good for you, the buildup of positive outcomes from consistent exercise is unbelievable.
Avoid drinking too much caffeine such as soft drinks or coffee, which is known to exacerbate anxiety. I drink coffee everyday so this is hypocritical to a degree. I’ve cut down, and so should you.
Limit alcohol, which can increase anxiety and panic attacks.Booze can really affect you emotionally and chemically. Go ahead and have a cocktail from time to time but getting loaded regularly is a really bad sign.
Count to 10 slowly. Repeat and count to 20 if necessary. Slow controlled breathing can be an instant anxiety reliever, try it.
Honorable mention here is sleep. Your body heals itself when it is at rest and that includes your mental and spiritual self as well. These are basic advices I understand. Sometimes it’s important to get back to basics and refresh on those before we get into the more complex issues of medications, therapy, family.
Even if one of them work for you then it’s a resounding success. One day at a time, you are doing awesome!
Thank you so much for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Want to see another post like this one? Click here.
“How do you
move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no
turning back.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
I’ve come back to Tolkien again. Yes, I am a fan of
high fantasy, there are so many pearls of wisdom from Tolkien its hard to
accumulate them all succinctly.
The quote is powerful, it is an allowance if you
will. It’s okay to reflect, and its okay to look back but why are you looking
back? Regret? That’s natural. Are you wishing that you could be in that place
in the past? That’s natural. Are you refusing to let go and understand there is
no turning back? That is natural.
When we think about our past, it is in our interest
to consider this proposition: Those who dwell in the past sacrifice the present,
in that moment, which compromises the future. Those who forget and dismiss the
past, are ordained to repeat it again until they allow its wisdom to take hold.
I know, it’s wordy but how do you move on? Are there things in your life and events that you dwell on? I do, and I can’t exercise them from my mind. I am working on it are you? There is no turning back….
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