So for this Wednesdays post we are going to talk about heterosexual men. I cant speak to other sexualities or genders, this may be applicable I don’t know. So in the current social climate in the west men are checking out of traditional roles. Some of that is a bi product of current social norms, some of that is men choosing to detach and go their own way. I’m not here to judge anyone, you do you. For those men out there looking for a serious relationship with a woman, chances are you are going to meet single mothers.
There are a couple of truisms you have to accept when considering getting serious with a single mother. Lets just bullet a few of those out here first because its critical for you to understand and accept them.
- The interests of the child will always come before your interests.
- The father of the child has rights.
- The father of the child will be a part of the mothers life and thus yours.
- Her family and possibly the fathers family will be involved in the child’s life.
So why am I mapping out these obvious facts? Because if you chose to get serious with a single mother these will become part of your reality. Now there are some extreme cases where some or all of them will not be a factor but generally these are some of the truisms you’re going to face. Now lets get one thing out of the way first. You are not a bad guy if you do not want to deal with these issues.
It is okay to want to date a woman and JUST the woman. It is okay to not want to be serious with a woman. It is okay to want a woman and not want to be involved with her child. None of that makes you a bad guy. What makes men the villain in these situations is when they are not honest with the woman about what they want and what their expectations are. Let me be blunt, if you just want to get laid, there is nothing wrong with that. She might want the same dam thing, great. However with single mothers you have to go the extra step of being clear with her.
A child is involved, indirectly of course but this woman you are involving yourself with is responsible for the upbringing of a kid. Do the right thing and don’t screw around with her mentally or emotionally. So the question posed in the beginning was “Should you become serious with a single mother?” My advice is no you shouldn’t. It is not only a woman you are becoming involved with you are also taking on the responsibility of affecting a child when you affect the mother.
Now there are lots of other factors here, its not so cut and dry. Maybe she is the greatest person you ever met? Maybe you two are soul mates? On and on I don’t know I’m not there. What I do know is anything that affects a mother affects a child in some form. Are you mature enough and capable enough to handle that additional responsibility? Me personally? I don’t want to raise someone else’s child. They made the child they should instill in the child their values and morals. If it were me, I would want to date, experiment, have fun and should the stars align meet a really wonderful woman whom I want to share my life with.
That’s how I did it and it worked out well for me. I do understand the dating scene has changed a lot since I was in it. As a man you really have to be careful out there. No one is looking out for you. Women, pets, children are loved unconditionally. They have 1-800 numbers, organizations dedicated to their well being, government programs. You? What is out there to help men? Maybe this blog post, and or some other men’s website that’s about it really.
Thank you for coming by and supporting my blog I really appreciate it. Please remember to like the post, subscribe if you are not and leave a comment so I know you were here.