How to be a better man: Mornings

Posted on by Karac Avalron

So in this series I post advice for heterosexual men because that is what I know. If this advice can help you that’s great. I don’t personally care about your gender, your sexuality how you identify etc. I try to provide good advice for men because honestly there is very little of it out there. So that out of the way, being a better man encompasses many areas. One of the hardest things to master is discipline.

Being disciplined helps you attain goals. It keeps you focused and allows you to measure progress. It’s a worthy endeavor and one you should be working toward and applying in as many facets of your life as you can. Today I am talking about Mornings. Now many will simply call this the “Morning Routine”. Fine call it whatever you want, but it is a means to creating discipline.

You adhere to the same processes over time and produce a desired result. We all have to wake up, so that is step one obviously. Key here is the time you wake up, it should be the same every day if possible. Of course, there will always be exceptions; a late night merits a late sleep by 98% of the time you should be waking up at the same time every morning. This establishes a good sleep pattern as well as the ability to consistently project the day as you know with a good degree of certainty when you should be getting up.

Don’t be a fool, focus on yourself first and positive things happen to everyone around you.

The first hour is key, now this can vary from person to person. Meaning you might take longer or shorter to get going but getting up in the morning and affording yourself an hour is reasonable. In that hour you should be able to achieve the following goals:

  1. Shower
  2. Face care routine (shave, trim, moisturize)
  3. Misc. grooming (trim nose & ear hair)
  4. Mouth routine (brush, floss, mouth wash)
  5. Get the clothes ready for the day – a bit more on this. Many of us put our clothes out for the next day at night, if you did great. In this space you want to get your outfits ready. Work, exercise, evening wear. This saves time and B.S. later.
  6. Food – Some of us fast. For those who don’t this is your time or make your coffee.
  7. Check online items – your social media, email etc.

Of course, this list can be added to or reduced depending on your personal situation. The key here is creating a morning routine. This leads to discipline and discipline is a core tenant to being a successful man. Many of these might be self-evident, I know it is a simple basic list but it’s the consistency over time that will help you establish more routines in other aspects of your life. Routines and discipline leads to predictable outcomes, predictable outcomes leads to success.

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Slow and steady wins the race

Posted on by Karac Avalron

So another finance piece today. Remember these are my opinions based on my experience of 30 years in the finance industry. Prior to making any financial decisions, you should seek out as much information and advice as you can to make sure you make the best decision for you.

So we are in an extended period of inflation and international worry, which affects financial markets. Inflation has leveled off, but we have two very unique situations that have occurred in the last few years making this inflationary period extend longer than most anticipated. First the pandemic. Without getting into that whole debate, economically, when you prevent people from working and companies from manufacturing and print money to sustain them inflation happens. Basically, there are less goods in the economy, making those goods more valuable. The second thing is we have had the great resignation.

Yes it’s rooted in the pandemic shut downs but the underlying economic realities of gig work also contributed. Coupled with the Baby Boomers (by population our largest generation) aging out of the work place and you have the conditions by which companies have to pay people more to produce goods and services, so they charge more for said goods and services. That is the inflation bit, the international worry? The Ukraine war.

Whenever a super power goes to war, (I define super power as any nation with nukes) everyone else gets on the edge of their seat. Russia has struggled in Ukraine, they are going to be there awhile and I do not seeing that war resolving soon. Therefore, this means you have a volatile period of ups and downs in markets. It’s hard to predict when things will stabilize my best guess is probably after the 2024 U.S. election, but that’s a guess.

Those who beat the drums of war, rarely fight in them.

So what do you do as an investor? You continue to be disciplined and invest slowly and steadily. You don’t sell in a volatile period unless you need liquidity fast. You ride the ups and downs, your buy opportunities now will likely evolve into gains later and sell opportunities are usually few and far between. It’s not a horrible idea to put some assets in fixed securities either, CD’s and treasuries are always nice to have but I would never go more than 10% of my portfolio. Still some CD’s are at 5%, which isn’t horrible when compared to historic inflation numbers.

Markets always go up and down, we will continue to see 300+ point swings some days for some time now as the U.S. Fed reserve keeps manipulating the interest rates (they were held artificially low for over a decade). The fed rate now is 4.75%. Anything over 5%, I think is a pretty big stretch but who knows at this point. Keep investing consistently and if you have a 5-10 year window you should be fine and actually come out ahead. Make sure you keep an eye on auto loans, it is the next “big bubble” and I think that one is coming to us later this year but we will see.

Overall, the best strategy to wealth is to retain as much of your income as possible and not send it to other people so you can live. Then taking that income and investing it with a long-term goal of growth. It takes time and perseverance particularly when things are rocky like they are now.

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Wisdom from the past – Psalm 34:18

Posted on by Karac Avalron

The book of psalms is a wealth of wisdom. For my regular readers you know I am not a Christian, I am a pagan heathen. That doesn’t mean that religious texts and doctrine are without merit. How did Bob Dylan put it? “We always did feel the same we just saw it from a different point of view”. We aren’t here for Dylan’s wisdom, we are here for the psalm.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

For those of you in faith you already have a close relationship with god. For those of us who are spiritual and or unsure? This is of great comfort. Grief will happen to you in your life, and it’s a very lonely place to be. It’s worse than anxiety really because of the profound sense of loss. Take heart, if you can, maybe the lord is with you right now, even if you don’t believe.

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Ancient Wisdom - Confucius

Ancient Wisdom – Confucius

Posted on by Karac Avalron

Many of us have heard of Confucius, we know that he was a Chinese philosopher who through his years of writing, observation and work in government created a philosophy of personal morality. This isn’t a political piece or a religious piece. As individuals with anxiety we can use wisdom of the past to help us in the present.

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
—Confucius

How many times have we been faced with an issue that looks like a mountain? We get overwhelmed and we fall into the pit of woe that is anxiety and mental health issues. Is one little saying going to help us? Maybe a little, maybe not at all.

How to move mountains
When you have Anxiety, Mountains appear often.

That said at the end of the day events happen to us, mountains appear. We have to deal with them. The beauty of this wisdom is it illustrates literally and figuratively how to deal with a problem that becomes a mountain.

You have to start, and you work the problem one small step (stone) at a time. Look we all have obstacles that pop up in our lives and some of them are extreme. You can move that mountain, be calm, and be methodical… Take one step at a time, one stone at a time and in no time the mountain will be moved and you will be right back on your chosen path.

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Anxiety Issues – 5 Easy tips for investing when you have anxiety

Posted on by Karac Avalron

Money can generate immense amounts of anxiety. We all depend on money to live. Food, shelter, electricity nothing is free. All of us, by whatever means generate income. Income is the basis by which you can obtain items you need to live and the luxuries that improve your quality of life. If you are like me, you are affected by moderate amounts of anxiety. You are functioning, likely have a full-time job and thus have to deal with all the regular poop that comes with life.

If you live in the states or in any other western culture, there is a large emphasis placed on retirement and saving. Putting your money in a bank account and collecting interest is no longer enough as bank interest is extremely low. If you are at a point in your life where you have enough income to invest, for whatever reason, it can be overwhelming and daunting.

Here are 5 easy tips that will help you.

  1. Have the money automatically drawn from your pay or your bank account: This eliminates the stress of you must transfer it yourself. Many employer plans will do this for you, and in many cases, it will be pre-tax money, lowering your tax burden.
  2. Determine what the money is for: Is this for income generation? Is this for retirement? For a new car? Decide what this money is going to be used for BEFORE you start investing.
  3. Where to invest, Large Cap Growth funds: I know your eyes are glazing over… These types of funds are normally comprised of strong companies that generate revenue and are considered very well capitalized. Companies like Apple, Boeing, Microsoft. These companies aren’t going to fold up over night if there are bumps in the economy.
  4. Time: Most investment vehicles have a return average over time. You can get this measure over 5years, 10 years etc. Look at mutual funds that have a 10-20-year track record. What was their rate of return? A 20-year avg return is a great measure because it accounts for ups and downs in the market.
  5. Trust yourself: There is no “trick” to investing. Consistent investment over years generates good returns. Don’t look for short cuts, you will regret it.

Money can equal stress, but it doesn’t have to. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race. If you stick with a long-term consistent plan you will be a successful investor. Once every 3-6 months check your investments make sure they make sense. If you have an employer with a retirement plan, sit down with HR and ask your questions. This will help with your anxiety, and that’s their job.

Remember you have anxiety, this won’t be simple, you will worry, you will react, you will make mistakes. However, you can do this, and someday with a lot of persistence and patience you will have accumulated a nice chunk of change!

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Wisdom from the past: Winston Churchill

Posted on by Karac Avalron

Nearly everyone who is reading this has either heard of or has studied Winston Churchill. To say he was (or Is) one of the most famous statesmen of the “World War” period wouldn’t be a stretch. He was in the middle of the most perilous time in modern history. The World Wars were the most devastating events in human history, oh and wedged in between those was this other event called the “great depression”. Needless to say if you lived through that period of world history you are probably wiser than most of us.

Churchill didn’t suffer fools, he did though accept the fact that even people he disagreed with had the right to be disagreeable. He valued free speech and basked in the fight and nuances of debate and semantics. The wisdom?

“Some peoples Idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, it’s an outrage.”

Boy is that true in 2021 isn’t it? Been on twitter lately? LOL. The point here is, most people that are telling you what they think often aren’t interested in hearing what you think if it’s not agreeing with their point of view. We are now to the point of intolerance where people are canceled for having “wrong think” or “wrong speak” and inconveniently we don’t have Trump around anymore to blame for it.

No its now (and always was) emboldened people who believe what they think is right and will go to extremes to make sure there is no dissent. Churchill faced this as well in his time, they were called Nazi’s and they burned books (think they would have liked Dr Zeus?) and committed horrific crimes.

Be wary of people who want to silence others, who deem something distasteful and are willing to remove access without consent. These are very dangerous people, in essence they want to control what you see, what you hear, and what you think. They are everywhere and, as Churchill warns, if you disagree it’s an outrage. Except now, the outrage has blossomed into something far more sinister.

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How I stay in shape over 50: Spring Jump Start

Posted on by Karac Avalron

So March is here. March is an interesting month here in the U.S. I live in the North East and in March, you can have blizzards or 60 degrees and everything in between. Now for me staying in shape over 50 requires nuance, you have to do a little more. For me that means steps. I supplement my training with simple walking. Walking is probably the simplest easiest way to burn calories.

Spring is coming to the west and that means more opportunities to capitalize on warm days. In the spring, I get outside as much as I can. Now “taking steps” does not mean you have to go on formal walks. Go into your yard look at the plants, check out the trees, and see if you can find a 4-leaf clover. All of those things mean steps taken and that is the point here. Winter for many of us is a time where we pull back and do less. “Hibernation” as my kids call it and to a degree that is true. I stay in much more, ya I go to the gym but I do MUCH less activity, probably just like you.

Get out there !

So spring is coming, get out and walk more. I know many of my readers are in the throes of severe anxiety and depression. Winter is a brutal time for many, seasonal disorder is real and many people suffer greatly. For you just go outside, the sunshine alone is going to help. For the fitness people reading, spring is an opportunity to get more active and to increase your motion.

Motion is key when you are over 50. “Motion is Lotion” a trainer once told me. Get out and walk, pick up debris in the yard, start planning a garden. More motion = better metabolic outcomes. The more you move the more calories you will burn, the better you will feel. For me, I live near a very old cemetery. I go for a walk there often, a full loop around the roads is about 2500 steps. Not a lot but it is something, get out there, spring is coming and you can jump-start your fitness.

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Sometimes a little humor goes a long way

Posted on by Karac Avalron

In my ongoing journey through anxiety I have come across many different things. One of those things are jokes. Now these are meant to be funny, if you have anxiety, my hope is you see these and smile. If it upsets you that was not my intent, I think if we can laugh at ourselves a little bit, things become a touch easier.

Here are 5 jokes/quips I have found in my travels that made me lol a little bit

  • I have generalized anxiety disorder, but it sucks because it affects me specifically.
  • What exactly is a serious mental illness? As opposed to those what? Carefree, happy go lucky ones?
  • I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.
  • Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
  • My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

I know some of these are really stupid but I still LOL. Maybe this is a sign I’m in a better place with my anxiety. I don’t know, I hope from time to time in your journey with anxiety you can laugh about it. It’s not a joke, but we do what we can to get through the day. Sometimes a stupid joke can carry the day !

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How to be a better man: Maybe it’s you?

Posted on by Karac Avalron

This is going to be a quick post today. So in my “how to be a better man series” I offer advice to heterosexual men. I suppose the advice can be used by anyone really but I try not to speak into sexualities, genders, etc. that I do not have direct experience with. So please take it in the spirit in which it is offered.

So “Maybe it’s you” what does that mean? Simply put, if everywhere you got things end up smelling like shit for one reason or another, it’s time to check your shoes. You might actually be the issue here. If your relationships with females all end a certain way, or if your work situations always seem to devolve to the same bullet points you have to be honest with yourself.

If you treat a woman like a Queen, she should be treating you like a King

YOU are always present in these situations. The likelihood of the same outcomes happening over and over with unrelated parties because of THEIR choices is highly unlikely. If you have dated four females and each one of them end the same way I would ask you, did they know each other? If they did not then the common denominator is you.

Self-reflection, honesty and a strong effort into self-improvement is going to fix many of these situations. Just because “It’s you” doesn’t mean it cannot be fixed. You have to do the work to identify what exactly the problem is. If, as an example, you are dating and you have no desire to get married, but constantly date women who DO desire to get married, you have to fix that.

At the end of the day, the only thing you can control is yourself, and even that is a challenge at time. Keep working hard, Keep pushing yourself and remember to always give yourself grace. You are not perfect, none of us are but self-awareness and honesty are the pathways to being a better man.

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One simple way to determine if you are healthy financially

Posted on by Karac Avalron

Not a long post today. Remember the finance posts you see on my blog are opinion pieces and not meant as financial advice. When making financial decisions you should seek out several resources and do your diligence and research. Now that out of the way there is one simple way to determine if you are healthy financially.

Do you pay the full balance of your credit card every month?

If you pay your credit card balance every month and never carry a balance this means you have enough income to cover all of your expenses. Now this has to be consistent, you cannot do it one month and then the other 11 not do it, but if you are paying off your CC balance every month this is a clear indication that you are healthy financially.

You see millions, tens of millions of people actually cannot pay their CC balances off every month. This means they spend more than they make, and that is the simplest way to know you are unhealthy financially. Simply put, if you can pay everything month to month you have created a sustainable financial life. Now do not confuse this with being wealthy, that is completely different.

Cash is still king

It does mean that you are financially healthy, now can you be healthier? Sure. You see what happens ideally is after you pay everything off every month you have money left over to save. That is how you move into wealth building and that is another post altogether. Remember this is simple, do not over think it. If you pay off all your CC balances monthly it is highly likely you are healthy financially.

You are living within your means. Now if you are skipping car payments and mortgage payments to make these CC payments that’s a problem but generally people skimp on the CC payments because there is a minimum payment which enables them to retain the balance to apply to other non-minimum payment bills, like mortgages.

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